Tuesday, January 27, 2015

8 Ties That You Should Own aka How To Be The Fanciest Monkey At Your Office

Adulthood. For most of my life, that word was nothing but a concept. It was the distant future, and as much as I imagined what it would be like, it remained intangible and, for lack of a better word, unimaginable. Of course it was. As children, our perspectives were extremely limited and we were perpetually stuck in nostalgia even as we lived it. We were stubborn and deep in our hearts, we refused to admit that one day, our childhood would end. We believed with all our might that though we may physically get older, we would stay just as we were. It was impossible to conceive that we would change; that our tastes, our desires, our friends, our surroundings, our world in general would eventually come to resemble something that our younger selves would never recognize. Eventually though, the Peter Pan dream is revealed to be exactly that and whether willingly or by force, we enter a new world of responsibilities.

And you know what? Thank God a billion, trillion times for that! The past is always tinted by the brain's uncanny ability to twist memories, but once you sit down and really think about it, we were all total scrubs when we were younger.

Yeah, I'm looking right at you, Lt. Scrub, of the US Army Reserve. And your Scrub Ranger buddy too.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Some Of My Favorite 2014 Things, One Day Into 2015

At first this was going to be an article discussing all the best that media had to offer to the world in 2014. That idea lasted about as long as it took to realize that a. I didn't get to watch most of the movies that I had wanted to this year, including John Wick, Birdman, Boyhood, Skeleton Twins and Edge of Tomorrow, and b. I don't watch most of the biggest TV shows out right now, usually limiting myself to 30 minute comedies. Obviously, I am in no position to talk about the best that cinema or television has to offer, since I have barely visited anything new that those two put out this year. However, I have listened to about 50 albums this year, and that does include a good number of pop records that I subjected myself to in the name of science and research. So, while that number may pale in comparison to actual websites devoted to this nonsense, I think it at the very least gives me the ability to present to you my favorite 20 albums of the year.